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We created SOBRLife as a twofold project with the mission of destroying the stigma associated with addiction recovery, while creating a way for anyone to celebrate the joy of being free of addiction. To do this, we created a line of clothing and lifestyle products that help everyone share their passion for the sober lifestyle with the world. After all, sobriety is something you should be proud of. It's something you can celebrate every day, and that's what SOBRLife is all about.
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While entering my first addiction rehab, I was scared, broken, and beaten by my drug addiction. I had no idea there was such a thing as rehab and was unfamiliar with how it worked. The facility I went to back in 2005 is no longer open, but it helped aid my path in eventually finding recovery and staying sober. If I had not gone to that first facility, I would not be where I am today. Upon entering, I was assigned a room and given a schedule. I was also assigned a therapist that I was to meet with once a week and a psychiatrist that managed the psych medication I needed to detox. The addiction treatment facility had the capability to detox in house, which may not be found in other addiction programs. I also had mandatory groups to attend on a daily basis and it was the first time in my life I was introduced to having a daily regimen that was healthy. In active addiction I would stay up for days at a time or sleep all day so I could stay up all night. If it were not for the strict guidelines created by this rehab facility, I would have the same schedule today. This addiction treatment center helped to assist in me living life on my own. There were many life skills that I learned without realizing it later on that they taught me such as making my bed, being on a set schedule, and learning how to interact with other humans, and so much more. If you have never been to an addiction treatment facility, and need help staying sober, I would suggest giving yourself a break and getting admitted. You never know how much of an impact it could make within your life and it may be exactly what you need. Whether you are looking for help for yourself or a loved one, please visit www.Sober.com to find facilities nationwide.
While entering my first addiction rehab, I was scared, broken, and beaten by my drug addiction. I had no idea there was such a thing as rehab and was unfamiliar with how it worked. The facility I went to back in 2005 is no longer open, but it helped aid my path in eventually finding recovery and staying sober. If I had not gone to that first facility, I would not be where I am today. Upon entering, I was assigned a room and given a schedule. I was also assigned a therapist that I was to meet with once a week and a psychiatrist that managed the psych medication I needed to detox. The addiction treatment facility had the capability to detox in house, which may not be found in other addiction programs. I also had mandatory groups to attend on a daily basis and it was the first time in my life I was introduced to having a daily regimen that was healthy. In active addiction I would stay up for days at a time or sleep all day so I could stay up all night. If it were not for the strict guidelines created by this rehab facility, I would have the same schedule today. This addiction treatment center helped to assist in me living life on my own. There were many life skills that I learned without realizing it later on that they taught me such as making my bed, being on a set schedule, and learning how to interact with other humans, and so much more. If you have never been to an addiction treatment facility, and need help staying sober, I would suggest giving yourself a break and getting admitted. You never know how much of an impact it could make within your life and it may be exactly what you need. Whether you are looking for help for yourself or a loved one, please visit www.Sober.com to find facilities nationwide.
When I hear the word detox, I remember the multiple times I tried to get clean from methamphetamine. The walk to get off any drug is different per person. Detoxing not only causes acute symptoms an individual will have post-acute symptoms. Please remember that there are facilities that will help you start the walk of recovery. At times, the detoxing process cannot begin without a facility. For myself, I decided that I wanted to start detoxing at home, and the first few times, it was a failure. The withdrawal symptoms were terrible, and I felt like I was dying. I had become a 24-year habit of multiple types of drugs. The one drug that held on for a long time was methamphetamine. Finally, in October 2014, I decided this was the time and would fight for my life. Coming down at home was the worse feeling. I can remember the pain I felt. I can remember yelling at my kids and treating them terribly. Some acute symptoms I experienced were fatigue, bad irritability, and lack of energy. I can remember just wanting to get up and feel normal. I now felt like death and wondered how long these effects would last. I went from an addict with no sleep to a hypersomnia person. I was oversleeping and lacking any hydration or food. Today, if I had to redo this walk, I would have checked myself into a facility to help with these acute symptoms. I still have post-acute symptoms today, but I would not change my life for anything. Today, I struggle with depression, anxiety, and mood swings. I also look at myself and hate the weight I have gained, but on the other side of the weight gain, I am now a much healthier person. I am more beneficial for myself and my children. Just know that if you are struggling, there is help, and you do not have to do detoxing as I did. Find you an inpatient facility and make the change. Recovery has a much more peaceful mindset. If you or someone you know needs a drug detox facility or interested in detoxing, please visit www.Sober.com for all your addiction recovery resources. Written by: Melissa Pena
When I hear the word detox, I remember the multiple times I tried to get clean from methamphetamine. The walk to get off any drug is different per person. Detoxing not only causes acute symptoms an individual will have post-acute symptoms. Please remember that there are facilities that will help you start the walk of recovery. At times, the detoxing process cannot begin without a facility. For myself, I decided that I wanted to start detoxing at home, and the first few times, it was a failure. The withdrawal symptoms were terrible, and I felt like I was dying. I had become a 24-year habit of multiple types of drugs. The one drug that held on for a long time was methamphetamine. Finally, in October 2014, I decided this was the time and would fight for my life. Coming down at home was the worse feeling. I can remember the pain I felt. I can remember yelling at my kids and treating them terribly. Some acute symptoms I experienced were fatigue, bad irritability, and lack of energy. I can remember just wanting to get up and feel normal. I now felt like death and wondered how long these effects would last. I went from an addict with no sleep to a hypersomnia person. I was oversleeping and lacking any hydration or food. Today, if I had to redo this walk, I would have checked myself into a facility to help with these acute symptoms. I still have post-acute symptoms today, but I would not change my life for anything. Today, I struggle with depression, anxiety, and mood swings. I also look at myself and hate the weight I have gained, but on the other side of the weight gain, I am now a much healthier person. I am more beneficial for myself and my children. Just know that if you are struggling, there is help, and you do not have to do detoxing as I did. Find you an inpatient facility and make the change. Recovery has a much more peaceful mindset. If you or someone you know needs a drug detox facility or interested in detoxing, please visit www.Sober.com for all your addiction recovery resources. Written by: Melissa Pena
Written by: Dwane Myers Life was a mess during active drinking. The pain and suffering wasn't going any where even while I was using. I hear a lot of people saying the drink or drug freed them from pain but for me the pain was there just allowed me to do lots of negative things. I never wanted to get sober, it was a painful and fun time while active. There wasn't anything good happening in life everything was just going down hill. When facing life on life's terms during my active using I would go and drink until I blackout and get real violent. I didn't know how to handle life or even myself. Once I became honest and accepted the fact I really had a problem that nobody could help me stay sober the door started opening a little. Being patient was a hard one for me I was that angry little boy running and running my whole life and couldn't stay still. They say if you willing to go to go to any length to stay sober and once I agreed on that I started having hope. Having someone that believed in me when I didn't even believe in myself open my eyes. The darkness was still there but the digging stopped. I had to change everything. I had to ask for help listen to others that been sober for a few 24 hours and start actually living in the day. Gain some courage to do uncomfortable things to get comfortable in my own skin. The guidance of a sponsor through some work of 12 steps and prayers to a higher power helped me take life serious. I am so Grateful that today one day at a time, prayers, reaching out to people asking for help and staying spiritually fit in my program I have a chance today to stay sober. Being in recovery is something new to me but also is a big part of my life today. I have had a few real tough times in my recovery with deaths in my family. Thankful I have tools today that allow me to do something different instead of picking up that drink or drug. When I lost my step dad it put me in a bad place and all I did was cry and cry. I am so glad I have grew up and learned that I am going to have bad days and good days but I as long as I pray to my higher power and talk to someone in recovery that has been there I can survive the day. That is all I have is 24 hours to stay sober. I have hope today faith and love and as long as I keep it in the day and stay humble I have another chance for the next day. So if you are new to the recovery life prayers meditation asking for help going to meetings and doing some action you have another chance to stay sober. If nobody has told you I believe in you. If I can do it you can do it also. Thank You for allowing me to be apart of recovery and service to you.
Written by: Dwane Myers Life was a mess during active drinking. The pain and suffering wasn't going any where even while I was using. I hear a lot of people saying the drink or drug freed them from pain but for me the pain was there just allowed me to do lots of negative things. I never wanted to get sober, it was a painful and fun time while active. There wasn't anything good happening in life everything was just going down hill. When facing life on life's terms during my active using I would go and drink until I blackout and get real violent. I didn't know how to handle life or even myself. Once I became honest and accepted the fact I really had a problem that nobody could help me stay sober the door started opening a little. Being patient was a hard one for me I was that angry little boy running and running my whole life and couldn't stay still. They say if you willing to go to go to any length to stay sober and once I agreed on that I started having hope. Having someone that believed in me when I didn't even believe in myself open my eyes. The darkness was still there but the digging stopped. I had to change everything. I had to ask for help listen to others that been sober for a few 24 hours and start actually living in the day. Gain some courage to do uncomfortable things to get comfortable in my own skin. The guidance of a sponsor through some work of 12 steps and prayers to a higher power helped me take life serious. I am so Grateful that today one day at a time, prayers, reaching out to people asking for help and staying spiritually fit in my program I have a chance today to stay sober. Being in recovery is something new to me but also is a big part of my life today. I have had a few real tough times in my recovery with deaths in my family. Thankful I have tools today that allow me to do something different instead of picking up that drink or drug. When I lost my step dad it put me in a bad place and all I did was cry and cry. I am so glad I have grew up and learned that I am going to have bad days and good days but I as long as I pray to my higher power and talk to someone in recovery that has been there I can survive the day. That is all I have is 24 hours to stay sober. I have hope today faith and love and as long as I keep it in the day and stay humble I have another chance for the next day. So if you are new to the recovery life prayers meditation asking for help going to meetings and doing some action you have another chance to stay sober. If nobody has told you I believe in you. If I can do it you can do it also. Thank You for allowing me to be apart of recovery and service to you.
When I think about the holidays, I think of stressful situations with family, other people, or money. Last year, I thought I had it made; I had just made it three years sober from my drug of choice. First, I became complacent in my recovery, hanging with unhealthy people, and pushing God out of the picture. I have learned through the years that the holidays are tough on everyone. Next, I might ask if you have a relapse prevention plan, just in case. Having relapse prevention in place could help you from relapsing. I did not have a plan in place, and I relapsed. Here are a few ideas that have helped me this year. Relapse has three different stages. Relapse begins with emotional, mental, and physical relapses. Each stage is different, and if we could recognize these stages, we might be able to prevent relapse before it happens. In a mental relapse, a person begins to think about using. This happens because we might choose to hang out with unhealthy people or deal with stress. Other areas can cause a mental relapse. In the next phase, the mental relapse, we begin to be at war with ourselves. Me, I remember thinking back on all the good times. I even thought about how I could quickly lose weight and stop again. In the last stage, we have a physical relapse. By now, we are using drugs or alcohol. Hopefully, we will realize what has happened and stop using it again. We get back on the road to recovery. Here are some tools to help you set up relapse prevention. Many of us might think we can handle things alone; I’m afraid that’s not right. We must be okay with asking for help. We must take care of ourselves; it is okay to be selfish. Find self-care that will work for you. I like taking a walk, especially with a friend in recovery. Another thing that I began to do was write out a list of people I could reach out to. This meant seeing the list, and when I struggled, I started at the top of the list and worked my way down until someone answered. This has come to work a lot in my recovery. Another thing I did was found me a sponsor that worked for me. Lastly, I started spending time with God. I will pray, read the bible, and listen to worship music. There is something about worship music that makes you feel better. Written by: Melissa Pena
When I think about the holidays, I think of stressful situations with family, other people, or money. Last year, I thought I had it made; I had just made it three years sober from my drug of choice. First, I became complacent in my recovery, hanging with unhealthy people, and pushing God out of the picture. I have learned through the years that the holidays are tough on everyone. Next, I might ask if you have a relapse prevention plan, just in case. Having relapse prevention in place could help you from relapsing. I did not have a plan in place, and I relapsed. Here are a few ideas that have helped me this year. Relapse has three different stages. Relapse begins with emotional, mental, and physical relapses. Each stage is different, and if we could recognize these stages, we might be able to prevent relapse before it happens. In a mental relapse, a person begins to think about using. This happens because we might choose to hang out with unhealthy people or deal with stress. Other areas can cause a mental relapse. In the next phase, the mental relapse, we begin to be at war with ourselves. Me, I remember thinking back on all the good times. I even thought about how I could quickly lose weight and stop again. In the last stage, we have a physical relapse. By now, we are using drugs or alcohol. Hopefully, we will realize what has happened and stop using it again. We get back on the road to recovery. Here are some tools to help you set up relapse prevention. Many of us might think we can handle things alone; I’m afraid that’s not right. We must be okay with asking for help. We must take care of ourselves; it is okay to be selfish. Find self-care that will work for you. I like taking a walk, especially with a friend in recovery. Another thing that I began to do was write out a list of people I could reach out to. This meant seeing the list, and when I struggled, I started at the top of the list and worked my way down until someone answered. This has come to work a lot in my recovery. Another thing I did was found me a sponsor that worked for me. Lastly, I started spending time with God. I will pray, read the bible, and listen to worship music. There is something about worship music that makes you feel better. Written by: Melissa Pena
For twenty-four years, I never thought there would be a holiday where I was sober. I was so used to spending holidays feeling myself and getting high. I remember holidays when I would act a fool so I could do what I was used to doing. I can say this changed four years ago. Four years ago, on October 24, 2018, I got sober from my drug of choice, methamphetamine. That Halloween, I spent in bed trying to overcome the withdrawal. I can remember my kids going out and doing Halloween with their friends. How sad was that? I could not even get up to enjoy just this little holiday. Let’s say this changed for Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about being thankful. I was grateful I could get up, move around, and spend time with all my children. While some anxiety slipped in, I stayed and wanted to be a part of the family I once lost. This was the year that I finally got a picture with all three of my boys, and I was sober. The last picture I had with them was taken five years before. This was right before I relapsed and went downhill. I can say I carry that photo with me everywhere. I am proud of this picture and what it represents. Today, if this is your first holiday sober with your family, take your time. Enjoy the time and create new memories that will last a lifetime. Do not look back and focus on that review mirror; focus on what is in front of you. A family that loves you and wants the best for you. One day you might share the life story of your addiction; till then, take a breath and breathe. Written by: Melissa Pena
For twenty-four years, I never thought there would be a holiday where I was sober. I was so used to spending holidays feeling myself and getting high. I remember holidays when I would act a fool so I could do what I was used to doing. I can say this changed four years ago. Four years ago, on October 24, 2018, I got sober from my drug of choice, methamphetamine. That Halloween, I spent in bed trying to overcome the withdrawal. I can remember my kids going out and doing Halloween with their friends. How sad was that? I could not even get up to enjoy just this little holiday. Let’s say this changed for Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about being thankful. I was grateful I could get up, move around, and spend time with all my children. While some anxiety slipped in, I stayed and wanted to be a part of the family I once lost. This was the year that I finally got a picture with all three of my boys, and I was sober. The last picture I had with them was taken five years before. This was right before I relapsed and went downhill. I can say I carry that photo with me everywhere. I am proud of this picture and what it represents. Today, if this is your first holiday sober with your family, take your time. Enjoy the time and create new memories that will last a lifetime. Do not look back and focus on that review mirror; focus on what is in front of you. A family that loves you and wants the best for you. One day you might share the life story of your addiction; till then, take a breath and breathe. Written by: Melissa Pena
Chemical substances can change how your mind and bodywork. Using these substances artificially alters the brain’s chemistry, which could lead to dependence and addiction. Today, Our World in Data shows that over 2% of the world’s population has an alcohol or drug addiction. These two are also the leading cause of death from substance abuse. You may think you’re one of the lucky few who won’t get addicted to a substance, and that you can stop anytime you want. Unfortunately, you might not realize how dependent you’ve become until it’s already causing significant problems. To help you on your journey to becoming and staying sober, here are steps to get started: Admit you have a problem It may be difficult to admit that you need to change your relationship with substances that you’ve been dependent on. But if you find that your habits are restricting your activities or affecting your relationships, or you're feeling some discomfort or guilt, it's likely that you have an addiction. You can also pinpoint some common signs of having an addiction. SymptomFind, a site dedicated to helping people reach and maintain wellness, lists some common signs that are associated with alcoholism. These include the inability to resist the mere sight or smell of alcohol and constantly looking for excuses to drink alcohol. Meanwhile, for drugs, signs of addiction are avoiding places where you can’t take drugs and relying on drugs to cope with problems. The first step in any recovery journey? Admitting that you need help, which can help prepare yourself for change. Seek help Contrary to popular belief, going cold turkey is not the fastest way to beat addiction. The Gateway Foundation warns that this isn’t safe either. This is because prolonged dependence on alcohol or drugs has rewired the brain to expect these substances. Quitting cold turkey can give rise to dangerous withdrawal symptoms, such as increased heart rate, nausea, and vomiting. As such, to help you recover safely, reach out to an addiction counselor or doctor to help you understand what to expect in your journey to becoming sober. Learn to cope with withdrawal and relapse symptoms Dealing with withdrawal and relapse may be the most difficult parts of recovery. Withdrawal is the physical and mental effects you feel once you’ve stopped or reduced your intake of a substance. Physical symptoms such as irritability, restlessness, and tremors can last from a few days to a week. However, the psychological effects like dysphoria can go on for longer. If you experience withdrawal symptoms, consult a doctor to help you. They may also prescribe medication to help you through your withdrawal. However, NCBI mentions that around half of the people undergoing treatment relapse a few weeks after they’ve finished their treatment program. Relapse symptoms can be emotional, mental, and physical. Emotional and mental symptoms include isolation and bargaining, which, if continued unchecked, will lead to physical relapse. This is when the person resumes use of the substance. Therapy and peer support can help you cope with your symptoms by increasing your motivation and guiding you through your journey. Avoid replacement behaviors Even when you’ve successfully managed your addictive behavior, you may end up finding a replacement for it. For instance, you can end up overeating or gambling. You can avoid replacement behaviors by trying to find a balance in your life. The trick to preventing replacement behavior is to find satisfaction in normal life experiences. These let you be more in touch with reality and form authentic relationships again. Talk to your doctor and counselor about your activities in order to determine if you’re becoming compulsive with any of them. They’ll encourage you to have a structured daily schedule that’s composed of recovery-related activities, such as exercise, eating well, and getting enough sleep. These activities let you focus on something other than what you’re recovering from. The road to recovery from addiction can be difficult. However, reaching out for help ensures that there are people to guide you to become and stay sober. For more information on recovering from addiction, check our resources here on Sober. Submitted by: JBurk
Chemical substances can change how your mind and bodywork. Using these substances artificially alters the brain’s chemistry, which could lead to dependence and addiction. Today, Our World in Data shows that over 2% of the world’s population has an alcohol or drug addiction. These two are also the leading cause of death from substance abuse. You may think you’re one of the lucky few who won’t get addicted to a substance, and that you can stop anytime you want. Unfortunately, you might not realize how dependent you’ve become until it’s already causing significant problems. To help you on your journey to becoming and staying sober, here are steps to get started: Admit you have a problem It may be difficult to admit that you need to change your relationship with substances that you’ve been dependent on. But if you find that your habits are restricting your activities or affecting your relationships, or you're feeling some discomfort or guilt, it's likely that you have an addiction. You can also pinpoint some common signs of having an addiction. SymptomFind, a site dedicated to helping people reach and maintain wellness, lists some common signs that are associated with alcoholism. These include the inability to resist the mere sight or smell of alcohol and constantly looking for excuses to drink alcohol. Meanwhile, for drugs, signs of addiction are avoiding places where you can’t take drugs and relying on drugs to cope with problems. The first step in any recovery journey? Admitting that you need help, which can help prepare yourself for change. Seek help Contrary to popular belief, going cold turkey is not the fastest way to beat addiction. The Gateway Foundation warns that this isn’t safe either. This is because prolonged dependence on alcohol or drugs has rewired the brain to expect these substances. Quitting cold turkey can give rise to dangerous withdrawal symptoms, such as increased heart rate, nausea, and vomiting. As such, to help you recover safely, reach out to an addiction counselor or doctor to help you understand what to expect in your journey to becoming sober. Learn to cope with withdrawal and relapse symptoms Dealing with withdrawal and relapse may be the most difficult parts of recovery. Withdrawal is the physical and mental effects you feel once you’ve stopped or reduced your intake of a substance. Physical symptoms such as irritability, restlessness, and tremors can last from a few days to a week. However, the psychological effects like dysphoria can go on for longer. If you experience withdrawal symptoms, consult a doctor to help you. They may also prescribe medication to help you through your withdrawal. However, NCBI mentions that around half of the people undergoing treatment relapse a few weeks after they’ve finished their treatment program. Relapse symptoms can be emotional, mental, and physical. Emotional and mental symptoms include isolation and bargaining, which, if continued unchecked, will lead to physical relapse. This is when the person resumes use of the substance. Therapy and peer support can help you cope with your symptoms by increasing your motivation and guiding you through your journey. Avoid replacement behaviors Even when you’ve successfully managed your addictive behavior, you may end up finding a replacement for it. For instance, you can end up overeating or gambling. You can avoid replacement behaviors by trying to find a balance in your life. The trick to preventing replacement behavior is to find satisfaction in normal life experiences. These let you be more in touch with reality and form authentic relationships again. Talk to your doctor and counselor about your activities in order to determine if you’re becoming compulsive with any of them. They’ll encourage you to have a structured daily schedule that’s composed of recovery-related activities, such as exercise, eating well, and getting enough sleep. These activities let you focus on something other than what you’re recovering from. The road to recovery from addiction can be difficult. However, reaching out for help ensures that there are people to guide you to become and stay sober. For more information on recovering from addiction, check our resources here on Sober. Submitted by: JBurk
Written by: Melissa Pena Do you know what Kratom is? Have you heard how it can affect your life? The next question is, do you realize that your friends who walk with you in recovery and taking Kratom? Reach out to the people that are struggling. They might need to hear that what they are taking is dangerous. For many years, I was that person who was using other drugs to eliminate the pain. Why would I want to do this again? We must overcome the thought of self-medicating our emotions, pain, or troubles. When is enough; enough? Kratom is known to be an herbal extract that comes from the leaves of an evergreen tree. This tree is in Southeast Asia. While Kratom is sold in stores throughout the United States, it can also be purchased online. Kratom is believed to act on our opioid receptors. While in small doses, Kratom acts as a stimulant and fills us with energy. In more significant amounts, it helps to remove the pain a person is feeling. Also, in high doses, it works as a sedative and causes drowsiness. There are safety concerns for people using Kratom. While Kratom only takes five to ten minutes to work, the effect lasts up to five hours. A person is being boosted with energy, which helps their mood and relieves pain. Do you stop to think about what else Kratom is doing to your body? Kratom is known to cause weight loss, dry mouth, chills, and liver disease. Please do not forget what it is doing to your mind and nervous system. People hallucinate and have delusions, seizures, comas, and death. From 2011-2017 1800 reports included death and seizures. Also, it was stated that five to seven infants are reported to have been exposed to Kratom and went through a withdrawal. My question is, why put your body through any drug that can affect our bodies? I worked hard to overcome a methamphetamine addiction; why would I take this pill sold over the counter that causes the same reaction? I have said this through other blogs; you are worth recovery! Your family and children deserve to have a sober and sober-minded parent.
Written by: Melissa Pena Do you know what Kratom is? Have you heard how it can affect your life? The next question is, do you realize that your friends who walk with you in recovery and taking Kratom? Reach out to the people that are struggling. They might need to hear that what they are taking is dangerous. For many years, I was that person who was using other drugs to eliminate the pain. Why would I want to do this again? We must overcome the thought of self-medicating our emotions, pain, or troubles. When is enough; enough? Kratom is known to be an herbal extract that comes from the leaves of an evergreen tree. This tree is in Southeast Asia. While Kratom is sold in stores throughout the United States, it can also be purchased online. Kratom is believed to act on our opioid receptors. While in small doses, Kratom acts as a stimulant and fills us with energy. In more significant amounts, it helps to remove the pain a person is feeling. Also, in high doses, it works as a sedative and causes drowsiness. There are safety concerns for people using Kratom. While Kratom only takes five to ten minutes to work, the effect lasts up to five hours. A person is being boosted with energy, which helps their mood and relieves pain. Do you stop to think about what else Kratom is doing to your body? Kratom is known to cause weight loss, dry mouth, chills, and liver disease. Please do not forget what it is doing to your mind and nervous system. People hallucinate and have delusions, seizures, comas, and death. From 2011-2017 1800 reports included death and seizures. Also, it was stated that five to seven infants are reported to have been exposed to Kratom and went through a withdrawal. My question is, why put your body through any drug that can affect our bodies? I worked hard to overcome a methamphetamine addiction; why would I take this pill sold over the counter that causes the same reaction? I have said this through other blogs; you are worth recovery! Your family and children deserve to have a sober and sober-minded parent.
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